Man to Man
A Real Priest Speaks to Real Men about Marriage, Sexuality and Family Life
From the Book
Heroic men have always inspired me. Saints, military generals, and famous presidents have always provided light and direction during my life. Men like Paul, Athanasius, Thomas Moore, John Fisher, Edmond Campion, John Vianney, Miguel Pro, Oscar Romero, John Paul II, Pope Benedict, Washington, Lincoln, Reagan, Patton, MacArthur and Eisenhower are all men that I admire very much. They are all lighthouses: men, who within their own historical circumstances, stood up to the plate and lived their lives with heroism.
Today, as men, we are constantly being challenged.
If the house is burning, get a hose and put out the fire. If someone is trapped inside, we need to go in for the rescue. Only the cowards would watch from the sidewalk and do nothing.
I love heroes. I loathe cowards.
I know that as married men you are challenged every day. I am writing to you in order to encourage you to remain faithful and to be a hero.
I am writing this book for you, man to man, with deep love and concern so that you will be happy in this life and eternally happy in the life to come.
One Sunday night in December 2006, I awoke at 3:00 AM and quickly wrote out the titles of the chapters of this book. I have never experienced this kind of inspiration before. The desire to write the book was something that kept bothering me for the next couple of weeks.
So, I decided that God was telling me something and perhaps using me. I quickly decided to take some time off and write the book. I knew that I had to get away from the parish and I also knew that I needed a quiet, peaceful place that would help inspire my reflections. I have never used vacation time to write, but I thought, why not?
So, here I am, on a small island off the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula, writing to you, the heroes of the modern world. The book that you are about to read is very practical and down to earth.
"Man to Man couldn't have come at a
better time for todays men who are
confronted with a myriad of mixed
messages regarding their manhood or
lack thereof. With eyes wide open to the
dangers lurking in todays culture, Fr. James Farfaglia takes a brutally honest approach to discussions of love, marriage, sexuality and family life sure to capture a mans attention. The author urgently invites all men: husbands and fathers to accept the loving heroic role that God has created them for. Man to Man should be on every book shelf. Better yet, in every mans hands. "
- Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle
International Speaker and Best Selling Author
"Fr. James' understanding of masculinity in
Man to Man will drive deep into the heart
of every man. With his years of pastoral
experience, he witnesses to the wounds
that keep men from experiencing the joy that life offers. Fr. James' insight and wisdom will help the ordinary layman to enter more fully into the mission of being Jesus to others. "
-Steve Pokorny, Theology of the Body Ministries
After having been happily married and raising
children for nearly 30 years, I know from
experience that the principles and advice that
Father James Farfaglia imparts in this
excellent new book are theologically sound
and eminently helpful for all men, especially
married men. His many years of pastoral experience in counseling married couples, hearing confessions, and carefully observing the exigencies of married life from the stand point of a priest have prepared him to speak as a genuine expert on the important lessons Catholic men must learn if they are to be truly happy, holy, and fulfilled husbands and fathers.
-Patrick Madrid
Radio host and director of the Envoy Institute of Belmont Abbey College
"At a time when militant feminists continue their efforts to emasculate men in our society, Father James Farfaglia’s book, Man to Man, is a
welcome guide to men, especially Christian
men, to value and develop a healthy attitude
toward their masculinity."
– Rene Gracida, Bishop Emeritus of Corpus Christi
"Father Farfaglia has taken a subject that is much maligned in today's sexually saturated culture, that
of being a man's man, and has turned it back
toward the Lord and His design in a way that
is both captivating and challenging not only for
men but for every Catholic. Understanding
God's design for a union with Him through marriage is fundamental for a couple considering matrimony, but particularly for the male in this age of feminized masculinity. That is perhaps the most important aspect of this book for it dignifies man because he is masculine, he is strong and he is Godly. It is my hope that every young Catholic considering marriage will read this with an open mind and a heart for truth."
– Judie Brown, President American Life League
From Chapter 1
From Chapter 7
Good male friends are very important and they can be good for accountability. Many years ago when I was young, my Dad used to take me a lot to Yankee Stadium in New York City. On one occasion, a few of the workers from our family restaurant came with us. After the game, we were driving through some New York street attempting to get back on the highway that led back to Connecticut. A rather attractive young woman was walking along the same street. One of the workers, a married man, rolled down the window, and made some kind of comment to the woman. Instinctively, my Dad yelled at him and said, What the hell is wrong with you? You are a married man. No one else said a word.
Most men, and for that that matter, most women, have no idea what love really is. In order for us to have a serious discussion about marriage, sexuality and family life, we must first understand what it means to love.
Today, the word love is equated with sex. For most young people, the words to date mean dinner, movie and sex. For most young American men, if the dinner and movie could be dispensed with, all the better.
The damage that this cheapening of sexuality has done is enormous. Most single men and women are terrified about getting close to anyone. Most single people are suspicious about anyone who wants to be a true friend. Most Americans have shut down emotionally and socially. They have become isolated and incapable of friendship.
About the author
During the tumultuous years of 1968 - 1974, Father James developed a deep passion for politics. Although he loved serving Mass as an altar boy, he never experienced a desire to become a priest. His mind was set on becoming a lawyer and he wanted to run for public office.
God's divine providence led the 1974 High-School graduate to a new Catholic College that was just beginning in New Hampshire. During his sophomore year at Magdalen College, Father experienced a profound calling to the Catholic priesthood.
Upon graduating college in 1978, Father joined the Legionaries of Christ.
Throughout his years with the Legionaries of Christ, he worked in Spain, Mexico, Canada, and throughout different parts of the United States.
Once again, divine providence was at work, and God led him to parish life. He founded a parish in Lufkin, Texas and then when Bishop Edmond Carmody was transferred to the Diocese of Corpus Christi, he decided to follow the Bishop to South Texas. Bishop Carmody asked Father to found another parish, this time in the city of Corpus Christi. Father is presently the pastor of St. Helena of the True Cross of Jesus Catholic Church, the newest parish in the city.
Aside from his duties at St. Helena's, Father has his own internet ministry. In 2002 he developed his own electronic parish. His homilies have been frequently featured on Catholic Exchange and Spirit Daily. Father is also the spiritual advisor to Hope House, a home for unwed mothers and he was recently appointed to the Board of Directors of Human Life International.
Fr. James Farfaglia
its time to man up
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Comments
Reviews
"During a break I allowed myself to read the first chapter, which was a huge mistake on my part as I was not able to put the book down until I finished it. ...Usually, when I have a friend who is about to get married, I give them Fulton Sheen's "Three to Get Married." Now it looks like I'll be giving out two books instead of one." -Rob G.
I thought the book was an excellent presentation on the distinct significance of priestly celibacy contrasted to the other expressions of living chastely and an excellent read for seminarians and young priests too. I will be speaking to the diocesan vocations director also about the
book for seminarians. -Deacon Sam S.
"If I had read this book 50 years ago, I would be levitating and bilocating by now."
Albert H. Lt Col, USAF (Ret)
While it is true that your book Man to Man was written to help men, it is also useful for women - a book to better understand each other's wishes, problems, worries and cares. You covered everything, every topic that would be a help to all couples. -Rose D.
Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle: Blog
Catholic.org / Catholic Online
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